


google search "how do you delete traumatic memories".

by nonbinarybabadook



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: maka and soul are queer platonic partners, maka dealing with the flashbacks from the sloth chapter, number 289 on the list of things that have traumatized maka
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 17:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18664822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinarybabadook/pseuds/nonbinarybabadook
Summary: maka's forced to face memories she wants to forget from the book of eibon.





	google search "how do you delete traumatic memories".

**Author's Note:**

> the manga really glosses over and ignores the sloth chapter after it happens, and what happened with giriko isn't something that maka can just let slip from her memory. 
> 
> warning for general ptsd, flashbacks, mentions of attempted rape.

the flashback hits her like a freight train. 

a hand holding her wrists above her head. a knee between her thighs. the smell of alcohol and junk food filling her nose, a pair of eyes on her mouth. the flood of fear, the one second that could have been fatal to her sanity if it had lasted longer than one. 

she’d been running when it happened. 

she keeps running. 

faster. 

_faster faster faster faster faster faster faster faster go go go go go GET AWAY GET OFF OF ME GET OFF OF ME GET OFF OF ME GET OFF OF_

falling. 

hitting the ground. 

relief. pain. concrete under her palms and an ache on her forehead and stairs pushing against her bones. 

she tripped on the stairs, running blindly. for precious, clear moments, maka looks at her surroundings, finding herself in the school. gym. gym. gym gym gym. running, again. destination in mind, now. fighting with herself, her mind. 

stumbling through the halls into the dark gym, maka flails for the light switches, finally able to breathe again when they flicker on. 

blinking is terrifying. she keeps seeing — him. he’s there, he’s dead, but he’s there, and she wants him out. out. out. out. 

she’s flown across the room before she knows it. a dummy’s head is ripped off, thrown as violently across the room as she can, not finding any satisfaction in the loud slam it makes. breathing hard, she whirls back on the headless dummy, beating it with every ounce of strength she has, desperately trying to focus all of her energy on what she’s doing and not — 

her nose is bleeding. from the stairs, she’ll find tomorrow morning when she goes back, sees her blood on the floor. in her panic, she hadn’t realized, but now — 

her blood suddenly becomes his blood dripping onto her face, his screams and curses in her ears, her wrists aching from a pressure that’s no longer there. she’s losing herself, losing her mind into the flashback. wiping her face furiously, maka feels sobs wracking her body.

‘ no! ‘ she roars into the empty air, tearing her throat. ‘ stop! fucking _stop!_ ‘ her mind doesn’t obey. 

it’s as if time paused on the moment where she couldn’t move, when her clothes still hadn’t settled back onto her body, when she became horrifyingly aware of the back of her skirt pinned under his knee. her biggest fear, suddenly come to life. 

_i think i’ll play with you now._

a dummy flies across the room, shattering into pieces with the force of her throw, as if she can throw the experience away, as if another weight can replace the weight she’d had to kick off. 

without thinking, maka finds herself slamming into the wall, over and over, knuckles torn and bloody from the brick. she wants it out. 

collapsing to the ground, maka screams. full-body scream, forehead bowing to the floor, shaking fists pressing against her thighs, the sound only interrupted by the broken sobs that barge in. she screams again. and again. she tried to force her mind to focus on kicking him away, on sending him flying across the room with her feet, focus on the pressure she felt when shoved her feet between them. focus on killing him. _he’s dead. he’s dead he’s dead HE’S DEAD AND YOU KILLED HIM._

she doesn’t realize that her partner’s soul had snapped out of the calm of sleep the minute she screamed, not until the gym doors fly open and he’s there, running to her. sobbing, stammering _it won’t stop_ , she holds out her arms, tears and blood absorbing into his shirt instead of dripping down her chin as he gather her in his arms, wrapping his body around hers. he pours every ounce of strength he has into her soul, giving her everything and taking as much as she lets him. rocking them back and forth, soul presses his face to the top of her head, hushing her softly only once, when she asks how she could have let that happen. 

‘ you killed him, ‘ soul murmurs, feeling how the words impact her more when said aloud by someone else, ‘ he’s dead. he’s never going to come back again. he’ll never touch you again. you’re safe, maks. _you’re safe._ ‘

‘ i’m safe, ‘ she whispers hoarsely, finally managing to uncurl enough to wrap her arms around his torso, to cling to him instead of her screaming, to let his voice promising she’s safe drown out the memory and the sound of her broken vocal cords roaring in fear. 

‘ i’m safe. ‘


End file.
